Stay. See.

To the daughter I am,

You don’t need to worry so much about loving your mother. That was never your job to do. Nor should it have been your job to make it seem like she could love you.

I am so sorry, sweetheart.

You deserved to be loved. Look at you! You—who survived annihilation with your soul intact. You, who broke from reality, betting all your faith on your ability to survive it. You, who found your long way back by refusing to believe the lie.

You, who chose to believe your body over everything else.

You, who laid all your love in front of your child, unwilling to let anyone break her from reality, no matter the cost. No matter if you were the one wanting to do the breaking.

You told the truth with her. Every single time. You loved her. And, in doing so, you preserved her life.

You know by now that their incapacity to love you was never about you. It’s okay to wish it could have been different, though. You don’t betray yourself by wishing you’d been born into love. It was your birthright.

I am happy now to hand it back.

You are astonishingly beautiful. You, who should not exist.  You, who was wily and devious in fighting for your life, and who, once you knew you’d survived—chose softening again.

I want nothing more than to welcome you back into this marvelous celebration of you,

Stay.

See.

Your life, the prayer. Your home, the temple. Your name, the way.

Love, you. Love, your daughter. Let go of needing to love your mother. People who can’t survive the truth can never love the truthteller. Know this and be safe.

Love your mother metaphorically and from a great distance—like you love the stars, mountains and trees—from inside and by what your mind remembers of them.

You hurt yourself when you hand your love to someone who perceives it as a weapon.

It does you no good anymore to pretend that people who don’t love you, can.

You survived. Let that existence go.

You, who could not be annihilated. My girl.

Your mother could not love you, but I have loved you from the very beginning.

Turn, darling, to the love that has always been here. It is time.

You can trust what you trust now. You exist. And I am here, whenever you are ready to be held.

You have my heart,

Stay.

See.

Love,

The Mother You Are

Daughter Letter 4
This piece is part of The Daughter Letters—a series of love letters written from the perspectives of mother, daughter, divine child, and divine mother.