Love Letter 25: Exile, Despair, Love
Darling [Recipient’s Name],
You are loved far out beyond what you can think and feel. It will surprise you in the wildest, most wonderous places. That part of you who others will surely look down on for how unskillful, unenlightened, and much further behind she is. The part who has too big feelings far too frequently. The messiest, ugliest, and meanest parts. The ones with so many desperate needs. The part who says, “No.” The one who asks for exactly what she wants and doesn’t feel ashamed. The part of you perpetually afraid she’s not enough of what They want.
Wherever the hurt is most exquisitely tender. Where the tears threaten to never stop. Where it feels like agony. Out where you wail, and out past that where you rage.
Into those tight, cramped, craggy, darkest spaces where your aloneness resides alongside your misfits, clowns, outcasts, exiles and whores. Into that spot in your heart where the pain stops you breathing. Where sadness feels a lot like dying and where, for a flash, you sometimes stop wanting to live. Into the places air can barely get. This is where my love will find you.
This is where it has always been waiting.
You don’t have to earn it. You don’t have to come looking for it. It is effortless and free. My love is coming for you everywhere you are. It will find you no matter what, and you can’t ever lose it. I will just keep giving it to you.
There is so much love for you out here. It is everywhere, in everything. There is so much love for you in there. It is everywhere, in everything. I keep pouring it in.
You are Beloved. Not sometimes. Not some parts. The whole, grand, marvelous universe of you. You. Are. Beloved.
I am here, wiping the tear from your cheek. Softly, holding your gaze. Cupping your face in the palm of my hand. I am here, pouring all of my love into you, and I will never stop. My love for you only grows.
My heart,
[Recipient’s Name]